Friday, July 2, 2010


I think I can...

I think I can...




I wish that I were writing to tell you all how wonderful I feel and how well training is going now that I'm back on my feet.

But, alas, that is not what I'm writing about.  :(

Since my last post I've run two miles.

2 miles...

I've got an appointment schedule for the 8th with a Physical Therapist.  She did have some encouraging things to say in her email, as she believes that my diastasis shouldn't prevent me from being able to train for this marathon.  Our meeting on the 8th will give her a chance to assess things "hands on" and give me a better answer.

My back has finally calmed down for the most part, but for some reason I've just been feeling really fatigued and weak.  My wonderful husband reassured me today that it's probably because we've just come through what could he described as "the hardest season of our lives" in the relational department.  I have to laugh on the inside a little, because I've definitely been through things of equal -if not worse - caliber than these last few relationally confusing and hurtful months.

I'm currently recovering from a sore throat.  I don't know if having a sore throat means that you *can't* run, but I have a feeling that my body giving in to germies means it's crying out for some sort of break.

The truth is - I haven't been that nice to it.  Because of all the stress we've been experiencing, I must confess that I've done more than my fair share of emotional eating.  No one eats lots and lots of veggies when they are emotionally eating.  I'm completely ashamed at the amount of Taco Bell I've consumed in the last month, and feel like what my body REALLY needs is a "reset" button.  I'm honestly considering doing some sort of dietary cleanse to start things over - but don't know exactly what that would look like.

I realized tonight - as I was sitting down to write this - that I'm definitely in the "ohwowwhydidIdecidetodothisIdon'tthinkthisisgoingtowork" stage of marathon training.  Literally.  I honestly don't think my body is capable of training for and completing a marathon this time around.  Which has me feeling rather depressed and down about myself.

Perhaps this is one of those things I need to push through and overcome and triumph through...
Or is this one of those things where I need to accept my limits, re-evaluate my goals, and choose a different marathon...

Who knows.

I know I'd love your prayers.

1 comment:

  1. Okay. So. I was planning, as I read this, to write you an email - but since you are SO BOLD in sharing this process publicly, I want to affirm you in the same mode. Affirmation is what community and friendship are all about, and I feel that I've learned A LOT from you about the healthy and appropriate role of friends in affirming us rather than supplying our core worth. Anyway. I digress.

    Becca Sue, you are phenomenal in your honesty and your DIRE pursuit of health and wholeness. I applaud your hard hard hard work in coming this far - seriously, LOOK how far you have come. From couch to marathon training. Seriously. Second, I don't know if I know anyone with such an INTENTIONAL heart toward her husband and child. If there is one thing I could say about you, and one thing alone, it is that you love like you mean it, 100% of the time. That is hard to do and hard to find. I cheer for you and Dan coming through this difficult season and will pray for continued strength and recovery. I think it's awesome that you're seeing a physical therapist. Your willingness, almost without a second thought, to seek help from people who are well qualified is a beautiful thing. Whether academic, spiritual, emotional, professional, or now physical, this is something I've seen you do time and again, and it's awesome. I think it makes Abba really happy that you draw on the resources around you to help you be as built up as you can be. And finally... there are worse things than Taco Bell. At least, if you're going to do something unhealthy, it's a ranchero chicken soft taco with extra ranchero sauce.

    I love you. You are awesome. I hope the physical therapist gives you the go-ahead, and if she doesn't, not an ounce of your awesomeness is gone.