As I've been moving along in my running and weight loss journey, I have found that keeping a food journal has been a key to success. I seem to follow a pattern of having a big weight loss "jump" one month - usually about five pounds - and then hitting a plateau for a few months. With the stress of these past few weeks, I've found myself mindlessly eating to escape my emotions. Big 'oops.' Mindless emotional eating is BAD for running, for weight loss, and - to be frank - bad for your soul. I teach my students in my Life Work class that God created us with emotions with the intent that our emotions would draw us to Him.
He means for our grief to draw us into His presence for comfort.
He means for our anger to draw us to Him as we trust in His justice.
He means for our joy to draw us to Him in praise and thankfulness.
So, anytime we take our emotions and try to "eat them" rather than following them to Jesus we miss out on the comfort and grace our souls really need. And we get fatter. No bueno.
I like new beginnings, so I figured April 1st was as good a day as any to start keeping a food journal again. Sparkpeople has been my favorite so far, so I signed back in today and started keeping track. I figure I'll spend this week just tracking what I eat, and then maybe give you guys a summary of what I'm learning.
I am embarrassed to say that I managed to pack in nearly 4000 calories today. No joke! Part of that is due to attending a Pampered Chef party and indulging in some Hot Lava Cake, Banana Bread and wine. Part of that is due to grabbing Taco Bell for dinner on my way over there. Bad call both directions. I know that the Lord means for me to glorify Him with every aspect of my life, including the food I put into my body. When I go on auto-pilot, I eat more than I really need. I also tend to choose low-quality, high-calorie foods.
Menu planning and actually taking the time to prepare healthy snacks and quick-meals will go a long way to helping me reduce the amount of junk I eat during the day. But the real change will have to come at a heart level. Sadly, I fear that I am not capable of changing my own heart. I'm just too in love with the crunchy, cheese, melty numminess that is Taco Bell. So I'm left with trusting God at His word - that He is the one who works in me both to want to change and to actually have the ability to change (Phil 2:12-13). Then I just have to take it one step at a time and lean into the grace and love of Jesus when I feel tempted.
Lord - I'm hosed if you don't step in and change my heart. You promise to do it, and I know you're faithful to keep your word. So here we go!