Today was a big day! My son turned 1 yesterday (the 6th) and we had a very fun birthday party for him. Then this morning we all slept in until it was time to go running. Sheri and I did the 25 minute run today and ran 2 1/4 miles - AH! How do I know how far we ran in that time? Because I use this great little site called www.mapmyrun.com which allows you to map your run (hence the name). We did it! 2.25 miles!
Only .76 more to go before I'm comfortably running a 5k! Woohoo! And there is now less than a month until my very first race - I'm so excited!
When I was running today, I kept thinking about the fact that my legs were burning and that I was very uncomfortable. Running is teaching me some great truths;
1.) Making the "comfortable" choice is how I ended up weighing 200lbs...
2.) Being uncomfortable is good for me!
3.) If I'm uncomfortable - and I know I'm safe - the best thing I can do is keep doing what I know I'm supposed to do!
For some reason thinking about being "comfortable" while running connected to the whole idea of "safety." I'm learning the difference between "this is uncomfortable... but it's good for me" and "this hurts, something is wrong." Two months ago I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference between those messages! It occurred to me in a very practical way that just because you FEEL safe, doesn't mean you ARE safe. My "comfy" choices over the last several years are what led me to be a 200lb woman at the beginning on my first pregnancy. They also led me to be a chubby Mama with ridiculously high stress levels, crazy blood sugar, high blood pressure, and stress contractions. I "felt" like I was doing just fine - but the truth is I was completely disconnected from my body. I had no idea how to recognize the difference between hunger and boredom/loneliness/frustration/etc.
I am very thankful for the things I'm learning, and looking forward to teaching these lessons to Ethan someday. :) I don't know how the Lord is going to work in his life to teach him that trust and true safety are not always comfortable, but I do know that He will do it!
Lord, help me to remember when I am feeling uncomfortable that it is not time to quit. Help me remember that "feeling" safe doesn't mean I am safe, and to always turn to You. I know that You are the one who guides and protects and strengthens me - help me remember that when You lead me through difficult lessons.
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I love reading your blog Becca. I am doing the same thing at the same time (only without a race at the end of it), and I am very much encouraged to see I'm not the only one going through these things.
ReplyDeleteI used to have asthma attacks while running or exercising, and I thought I couldn't be athletic because of that. I have years later discovered that it wasn't asthma - it was panic attacks! When I would feel that "uncomfortable" feeling, I thought it was dangerous or harmful, I would start to have panic attacks, and have difficulty breathing, which freaked me out even more, and I was literally terrified of running, because I thought I would just stop breathing and die.
One time, I was running on a treadmill, and I wondered what would happen if I kept running past that "dangerous" feeling...nothing! That was my first clue. A few years later, and I realize just what you wrote here: uncomfortable is not the same thing as dangerous. I have not had a single problem with breathing since.
I've been running 2 miles 2-3 times a week for almost a month now. It is getting easier every day, and I am amazed at the sense of accomplishment and confidence being a "runner" is giving me. What I thought would kill me is really literally making me stronger.
Wow Becca,
ReplyDeleteThis is very insightful. You're onto a very important key to life here. I've been thinking through some of these same things. Failure to recognize a false need has been a huge problem in my life... I think that's true of many people. I'm really stoked that you're working so hard on this stuff.
Keep after it! Many people will benefit if you do.
Scott